Nellie: A Tribute to a Good Friend

Last night we lost an old friend. Nellie was born 28 years ago on a cold, rainy April night. Dangerous knew her mother Molly was about to deliver, so he moved her to a stall at the large animal hospital. Every few hours, Dangerous drove to the clinic to check Molly's progress. For those of you who know horses, you understand how difficult it is to witness an actual birth. According to Dangerous, mares don't like company when delivering their foals, and will try to time the birth when no one is around. After a long sleepless night, Dangerous found a new palomino filly standing on wobbly legs next to her mom early that stormy April morning.

Newborn Nellie and Molly

Dangerous tells me that Nellie was the prettiest horse he ever owned. Even in death, the vet who came last night commented about what good shape she was in at 28, and how pretty she was. I didn't know Nellie until she was probably 22, but even then most everyone who met us on the trail would ask Dangerous about the tall, pretty horse he was riding. Besides being beautiful, Nellie could really travel.

Nellie was a tough old girl who survived a variety of illnesses and injuries during her long life. She suffered from chronic laminitis that affected her most every spring. Nellie was a bit of a pig when it came to tender, green grass, and once she was turned out to graze, she never seemed to get her fill. Her all too noticeable founder crest was a physical testament to her hearty appetite.

Nellie Enjoying the Spring Grass

Well, last night Nellie's luck finally ran out. She couldn't get up after lying down for a nap. Dangerous found her struggling to get to her feet, and knew it was time to call the vet. With the vet's help, she peacefully passed away in the pasture where she spent most of her life. We miss you old girl!

The Parasite Ranch

If you drive Highway 12, you will see small, working ranches scattered along the entire 110 mile length of the highway. Many of these ranches have picturesque names like the Shooting Star ranch located a few miles south of Torrey. Well, not to be outdone by their neighbors, the "Grover Boyz" named their 3 1/3 acres of sand, volcanic rocks, and pinion trees the Parasite Ranch. You probably wonder how they came up with such a strange name. It doesn't have the romantic sound of other ranch names, but it does have an interesting history. I thought you might enjoy the story about how the Parasite Ranch got its name.

The "Beeg Juan," Caretaker and Maintenance Man

Since the story is pretty short, I thought I would introduce you to the characters who operate the Parasite Ranch for the "Grover Boyz." Like all the big outfits on the High Plateau, the Parasite Ranch has a full time caretaker and maintenance man. The "Beeg Juan" is a migrant worker from Sweden who lives full time at the ranch. In addition to maintaining two cabins, a horse barn, the outhouse, and a well, he patrols the ranch boundaries to discourage trespassers. Recently, he took Smokey Bear hostage. He isn't asking for a ransom, but only for the U. S. Forest Service to more aggressively enforce ATV travel restrictions. According to "Beeg Juan," if he finds one more ATV track, the "bear gets it."

"Neck-Less Dug," Stock Tender and Stall Cleaner

From the picture, I think you can easily tell how "Neck-Less" got his name. Unlike the "Beeg Juan," he is only part time at the Parasite Ranch. He shows up whenever Dangerous brings the horses to ride. Since "Neck-Less" isn't good with tools, the "Beeg Juan" limits his duties to feeding and watering stock. The only tools he is allowed to use unsupervised is a manure fork and Dutch oven.

Main Ranch House

Nestled in the trees about 400 feet off Highway 12 is the main ranch house. Calling it a ranch house is a bit of a stretch. The neighbors refer to it as the "shed in the woods,"but it serves the same purpose as ranch headquarters on bigger spreads. The "Beeg Juan" doesn't have a lot of maintenance work because the main house lacks indoor plumbing and central heat. When describing the Parasite Ranch headquarters, the "Grover Boyz" try their best to dress up the description, but basically the place is a shed with a loft and covered porch.

Roylance Cabin, Guest Cottage

If you come to visit, more than likely Dangerous will put you up in the Roylance Cabin. As you probably remember, Ward Roylance gave the "Grover Boyz" this old log cabin, and they restored it. To say the least, it is quaint inside and out. Some visitors prefer to sleep outdoors because the Roylance Cabin is infested with mice, but others think a mouse climbing across their face in the middle of the night adds to the experience. Again, the "Beeg Juan" has limited maintenance work, because like the main ranch house, the guest cottage doesn't have running water, heat, or lights. Why the "Grover Boyz" continue to employ the "Beeg Juan" full time with so little to do I don't understand. At the very least, he could try exterminating the mice living in the guest cottage.

Equestrian Facilities

You can quickly tell from the size of the equestrian facilities why "Neck-Less Dug" only works part time. You would think that Dangerous could care for his own stock like he does at home. However, you have to understand Utah ranching politics and economics. If you don't have hired hands, you are instantly classified as a hobby rancher by the IRS. Hobby ranchers can't claim the tax write-offs and government subsidies given to real ranching operations.

Tom and the Little Parasite

Now that you have met the staff and have a complete description of the Parasite Ranch, I will share the brief story about how the ranch got its unusual name. Actually, the story is pretty short. Dangerous and Utah Jack chose the name to honor Dangerous' father Tom. You would think calling it Tom's ranch would be more appropriate, but by now, you know the twisted sense of humor these two have. As the story goes, Tom had an unusual way of encouraging Dangerous to work hard. To say that Tom was a hard worker is a bit of an understatement, and his under motivated son never quite met his demanding expectations. As Dangerous tells the story, it didn't take long for his father to lose patience when they worked together. Since Tom never swore, he expressed his dissatisfaction with Dangerous' work ethic by calling him the "Little Parasite!" Occasionally, "never sweat" was substituted for "Little Parasite," but you get the idea. Remember to never share anything personal or embarrassing with Utah Jack because he never forgets and constantly reminds you of any weakness or indiscretion. Once he heard Dangerous' painful story from his youth, he had to find a way to remind him regularly, so what works better than calling the place in Grover the Parasite Ranch. Actually, I think the name is appropriate because as you all know, "Every day is Saturday in Grover!" Love to hear from you!

Chasing the Sun

What do you think of a guy who would leave his best pal home freezing in her dog pen while he enjoyed three days in the sunshine? Well, that's exactly what Ol' Dangerous did to me! He left me sitting in the cold and drove off without a backward glance. While he was riding horses in the Washington County sunshine, I was stuck at home breathing polluted air, freezing in my pen. I might be interested in a new best buddy. Anyone out there interested?

Dangerous and Balthazar

Actually, from what Dangerous tells me, I might have been better off at home. It's hard to tell from the picture how big Balthazar really is, but I know firsthand that he is a giant. Dangerous tells me that he had to let his cinch out all the way, and his breast collar was extended to the limit. Bill, who owns Balthazar, was surprised when Dangerous was able to climb on without a leg up or tall rock to stand on.

While his size is impressive, Balthazar's strength and speed is intimidating. Dangerous tells me he rode with two hands while trying to keep this speeding giraffe from getting away from him. According to Dangerous, I would never have been able to keep up. At normal Walking Horse speed, I struggle to maintain the pace, but I guess Balthazar's running walk would have left me in the dust.

The Pine Valley Mountains

As you can see, taking a picture from the back of this giant horse is a bit difficult. Dangerous wanted me to see the Desert Tortoise Reserve with the Pine Valley Mountains in the background, but the beautiful landscape is obscured a bit by Balthazar's ears. According to Dangerous, it was difficult to find a camera angle that didn't include some part of this big horse.

Bill Takes a Rest

Riding Walking Horses at break neck speeds on icy trails can take a bit out of most anyone. As you can see, after a few hours in the saddle, Bill needed a brief nap. While he put Dangerous on Balthazar, his horse Thunder is no slouch. I have followed Thunder before, and understand why Bill needed a rest.

Bill and Thunder

I know it's hard to believe, but there are a few trails in Zion's National Park open to horses. Bill swore Dangerous to secrecy about where this trail is located, so I can't give you a name or tell you how to find it. You probably think it's located outside the park, but you can tell by the scenery that it isn't.

A Horse to Match the Scenery

If you look closely, you can detect a faint smile on Ol' Dangerous' face. Anyone who knows him will tell you it takes a lot to get him grinning from ear to ear. From what I can tell, riding a good Walking Horse in beautiful country comes about as close as anything. Love to hear from you!