A Tale of Two Toes

Warning!  This post may not be appropriate for young children or the faint of heart.  While not sexually oriented, unless you like toes, the pictures I have included describe what happens when you regularly wear cowboy boots and pound your toes into the end of hiking boots backpacking hundreds of miles on the High Plateau.

Sheep dogs are fortunate in that we aren't vain like people.  Since we don't wear shoes, we don't spend time trying to match our foot wear with our current outfit or activity.  If you haven't noticed, my outfit is pretty much the same all the time except, maybe, after I have been groomed.  Even an old man like Dangerous suffers from the vanity found among many young women as he tries to find the perfect footwear to match his not so stylish western outfits.  At least he gave up the ridiculous looking cowboy hat that a man without a neck should never wear.  No dog in her right mind would wear cowboy boots which pinch your toes into grotesque shapes and are almost impossible to walk in.  The picture below shows Dangerous' decline from his high fashion, handmade Wilson cowboy boots to a surgical shoe.

Cowboy Foot Wear for the Vain

 

It's well known that Old Dangerous has a high pain threshold; however, our September Escalante River hike finally convinced him that surgery was necessary.  I am not sure I could have walked 20 miles carrying a pack on those toes.  At least he had the good sense to visit a qualified medical professional rather than having Utah Jack, Fremont Bob, or Walking Horse Bill try and fix his foot.  They all had their preferred procedures from amputation to flattening and straightening his toes with an anvil and hammer.

Before Surgery

 

This time, Dangerous had the good sense to plan his surgery after the hiking season ended and horse riding slowed down.  In May, he had prostate surgery that kept him sidelined for six weeks, and you can imagine how that affected his cheery personality.  He scheduled his surgery about right this time, but he couldn't keep his big mouth shut at the hospital which almost cost him more than his toes.  The surgery occurred the day after the Presidential election which, as you know, didn't go as desired for predominantly Mormon Utah.  Well, as you probably guessed, Dangerous couldn't help himself and had to bait all the Republican doctors operating on his foot.  If I have the story right, the anesthesiologist told him to "shut up if he knew what was good for him."  It might have been Dangerous' comment that the losing candidate could still be President of Utah that set the doctor off.  Dangerous always scratches his head in puzzlement when he gets these reactions, and mutters something about those humorless SOB's who don't understand or appreciate satire.  Even a sheep dog like me knows the difference between satire and sarcasm, and I didn't attend college for 14 years like those doctors.

Redneck Bandage

 

I suspect to take a little revenge the doctors and nurses decided to wrap his foot in a camouflage bandage suggesting that he really has right wing tendencies.  But little did they know that Dangerous has deep roots in the redneck community which he tries to keep secret from his few left leaning, intellectual friends.  Most of his buddies know that he fits in better with the crowd at the Cross Roads of the West gun show rather than with a liberal group attending an academic symposium.  Just ask him and he will freely tell you he is just a redneck kid who went to college who prefers reading books to fixing his own pickup truck.

 

    After Surgery

 

By the looks of his foot, I think those doctors got their revenge.  They told him that by summer he will be able to run barefoot on the beach.  I suspect that they are putting him on due to his "satire" before surgery.  By summer, young children will still run shrieking to their mother's at the sight of his bare feet.  But, I doubt that he really cares as long as he can get his cowboy and hiking boots back on and hit the High Plateau trails without nagging pain.  I will let you know how it all turns out.  Love to hear from you!

Rogue's Gallery

As you well know, Australian Shepherds are frequently recognized as being very intelligent dogs.  Some say Standard Poodles top the list, but how can anyone accept as intelligent a dog with one of those outlandish haircuts.  Others will tell you that border collies are the most intelligent canines, but unbridled activity does not necessarily equate with brains.  How many poodles or border collies do you know who write their own internationally read blog?

While Aussie's are bright, I have to confess to a slight intellectual imperfection.  I can't keep track of all the horses that come and go through my life.  I have to admit that from ground level they all look and smell the same.  My reason for concern is that I might follow the wrong horse one day and lose my happy home.  A bigger concern is that we might meet on the trail, and you won't recognize me.  So, to solve my problem I have created what I call a Rogue's Gallery of horses that are currently involved in my life.  These pictures and brief biographical sketches may help you recognize me on the trail.  You never know when I might need directions or even worse, I might miss greeting one of my loyal readers.  So, with your indulgence sit back and enjoy my equine friends.  They are not listed in any particular order.

Gennie

You met Gen is a previous blog, so I won't say much other than she is probably Dangerous' favorite.  Gen is big, tall, pretty, and sweet.  Her only fault is that she hates dogs, and I mean with the intent to kill.  Unlike most of the other horses, she was bred and raised in Wyoming rather than Utah or California.  Maybe that explains her bad behavior towards me and all other dogs.

Thunder

Thunder belongs to Walking Horse Bill, and is a regular in his riding rotation.  Getting along in years, he still lives up to his name.  When you climb on, you better have a tight hold on his reins.  Even at his age, this very traditional, black Walking Horse knows only one speed -- fast.

Zephyr

Another of Bill's horses, Zephyr has fathered some members of the current gallery including Dottie and Bug.  He rarely leaves his stall because like most males he has only one thing on his mind, but Zephyr is an unusually quiet and cooperative stallion.

Balthazar

At first glance, you might think Balthazar, Bill's favorite mount, belongs on the Serengeti out distancing a lion.  He is the tallest and leanest horse I know, but don't let those protruding hips fool you.  Balthazar can really step out, and refuses to follow any other horse.  You might not notice me on the trail, but this big boy never goes unnoticed, and is always seen in the lead.

Misty

Humble Misty is Bill's guest horse that anyone can ride.  She is usually found in the middle of the pack with the most inexperienced rider on board.  Misty has the unusual talent of convincing novice riders that they are actually riding rather than sitting.  However, she understands instantly when a more experienced rider climbs on and perks right up stepping out in a beautiful four-beat lateral gait.

Rose

According to Dangerous, Rose is by far his best riding horse.  She will climb a tree if the bark will hold, swim the deepest rivers without prodding, and dive off a steep bank without hesitation.  Her only fault; she doesn't like other horses.  Sullen and independent, Rose can't be bothered with the social niceties of herd etiquette.  Most anyone can ride her, but don't put her in a enclosure with other horses she doesn't know, or she will try to eat them alive.  Her aggressive behavior is especially pronounced around males of her species.  Smart girl don't you think?

Bug

Next to Gennie, Bug is the youngest and sweetest in this gallery.  She was bred, born, and raised in St. George.  Bug is very refined with a pretty head, delicate legs and excellent Walking Horse gait.  Like some of the other St. George horses, she doesn't especially like water.  Maybe she and the others raised in the desert get their water phobia from having only seen it spurting from a hose or in a horse trough.

Dottie

Until Gen showed up, Dottie was Dangerous' main ride.  She is Bug's sister and her father is Zephyr.  Dottie has a sweet temperament that extends to sheep dogs, but is afraid of everything that blows in the wind.  On occasion she can be a challenge to ride, but Dangerous loves her dearly.  Because of her color and not so perfect head, she has occasionally been mistaken for a mule which really offends Dangerous.

Sweetie

Sweetie is a stunningly beautiful Walking Horse who is a bit lame.  Like Gen she comes from the Box Hanging Three Ranch in Dubois, Wyoming.  She is in semi-retirement, but Bill hopes to raise another foal from her with the same great bloodlines and Walking Horse traits.

Chief

Chief is the only horse I know not from California, Wyoming, or Utah.  How he got here from Mississippi is a mystery to me and his owner Kent as well.  While a bit herd bound, Chief is a mellow-mannered fellow who Dangerous borrows occasionally when guests visit from out-of-state to ride.  According to his owner, Chief is eight, but all of Kent's horses are eight because he can't remember when he got them or how long he has had them.  Dangerous and Kent were riding together long before I was born, and Chief was around before that.

Blue

Blue is an aging senior who suffers from navicular disease.  Don't worry the disease isn't contagious, but a hoof aliment that limits his use a bit.  While hobbled some, Bill still uses Blue as a pack horse for his annual Yellowstone trip.  Blue is a tough old boy who carries a heavy load while walking on thick hoof pads.

Scottie

Scottie has the unique distinction of being the only Quarter Horse in the gallery, and is by far the oldest.  Utah Jack retired him from active riding a few years ago due to navicular disease and age.  He now hangs out in the pasture with Dottie keeping her company and munching grass.  By 26, most horses have usually moved on to greener pastures; but Dangerous and Utah give him the best of care, and he may live to 30 or more.  Even at his advanced age, Scottie is still the dominant horse in any pasture.  During his prime, he was possibly the best saddle horse at the Parasite Ranch.

According to the dictionary, a Rogue's Gallery is a collection of portraits of criminals and suspects kept by law enforcement for identification purposes.  Well, I don't want you to think of my equine buddies as criminals except maybe for Gen who has sheep dog murder in her heart, but to view these portraits and descriptions as a way to identify my traveling companions.  If you meet a horse on the trail that matches one of these descriptions, take a close look around and you might see me with my tongue hanging out from trying to keep pace.  Dangerous never passes up an opportunity to stop and talk, so when you see me, I am more than willing to chat.  I usually need the rest, and even though I am an intelligent sheep dog, I don't mind having my tummy rubbed while we converse. 

 

 

 

Parasite Ranch Expands

All big ranching operations include thousands of acres scattered among many locations.  Well, the Parasite Ranch might be small by comparison (approximately five acres total), but like the big spreads, it is now located in three different places each hundreds of miles apart --  American Fork, 1.08 acres; Grover, 3.33 acres; and St. George .79 acre. 

Little Valley -- St. George

 

The St. George locations doesn't look like much right now, but Ole Dangerous has plans.  Try and picture a barn and corrals next to the two trees on the sandy lot he and Trea recently bought.  I know it's hard but with a little imagination, you can picture Rose, Dot, and Gen wandering around eagerly waiting for Dangerous to load one of them in his horse trailer to ride on the Red Cliffs Desert Reserve.  It was the opportunity to ride year round that prompted Dangerous to move all of us almost 300 miles south for the winter.  Trea agreed to move because she gets a new house.

New Retaining Wall

 

While the house isn't under construction yet, Dangerous has already started fencing the property.  He and Walking Horse Bill are standing next to the recently completed retaining wall at the back of the lot.  Once Bill completes Trea's house plan, construction will get under way.  In the mean time, Dangerous and Utah Jack have planned the barn and stock fencing which they will build once the house is sited and the foundation dug.  Hopefully, construction will get underway in the next few months.

Street View

 

I know it's hard to believe, but our new southern Utah location is in a very nice neighborhood.  Dangerous looked for almost five years to find a place where he can keep his horses, and Trea can be close to town.  Unfortunately for Bill, Dangerous is within walking distance of his place, but he can't complain too much about having us as neighbors because he actually found the lot.  Since we are just four blocks north of Bill's horse operation, I suspect he and Dangerous will be trading horse tending duties when one of them is out of town.

Planned Pool

 

Dangerous might be building the cheapest house in a very nice neighborhood, but it won't be without important amenities that other neighbors have.  If you fly over the area using Google Earth, you will see a lot of swimming pools in various backyards.  In fact, Dangerous had a six foot high wall built at the back of the property to screen out the neighbor's pool directly behind us.  He thought his daughter-in-law might prefer the neighbor's pool to the one he has planned for our new place, or maybe he was concerned that the neighbor's guests and family might not want Rose, Dot, and Gen staring at them over the fence while they swim.  I suspect he will need to hide all the ladders around the place to keep his daughter-in-law and her children from climbing the wall to join the neighbors because I doubt the pool he has in mind will be heated.

As construction moves along, I will keep you updated about progress and misadventures.  Once the place is completed, you have a standing invitation to visit.  Supposedly, Dangerous is constructing two downstairs guest rooms with an indoor bathroom where visitors can stay.  So, let me know if you are interested, and I will try to get you a reservation.  I am now booking for the 2013 season.

Change of Seasons and Locations

In the past, fall has always been a sad time of year at the Parasite Ranch.  October brings out an army of semi-sober hunters packing high-powered rifles that discourages even Dangerous from entering the back country.  Who can blame him when he rides a Walking Horse that might be mistaken for an elk or deer by one of the trigger happy bunch who prowls the edges of the woods on their ATVs?

Every year before we are pushed off the High Plateau for a month, we take full advantage of the beautiful fall weather.  Most people only see the change of seasons from the black top, but not us.  We ride or in my case walk out into the middle of the forest's blazing yellow, orange, and red colors that most people only experience from the windows of their cars.  For us, fall is our favorite season, but we also know that the High Plateau riding season is over, and we will soon move south to the desert.

Gen and Dangerous

As you well know, Dangerous is very possessive of the back country where he rides and hikes.  Ask any public land manager that he regularly harangues with unending complaints and suggestions, and they will tell you that he believes he personally owns the entire High Plateau and surrounding canyon country.  However, he doesn't mind sharing sometimes.  Two of his regular companions this year have been Kent and Dennis who are willing to put up with his unending editorializing about protecting the places he rides to see the beautiful fall foliage from the back of a good Walking Horse. 

Kent and Chief -- Dennis and Rose

Rather than boring you with ongoing commentary, I thought you might enjoy just looking at some of the places we visited this fall.  Who knows?  If you approach Dangerous carefully, he might take you along for a ride.  My sheep dog view is a bit different from what you get to see from the back of a tall horse.

Favorite Lunch Spot

October Ferns

Mt. Timpanogos

The Burning Bush

Fall Maples

 Desert Sunrise

These days October doesn't announce the end of the riding season.  A few weeks ago Dangerous and Utah Jack moved the sheep camp to St. George where we will stay periodically until Trea's house is built.  Once completed, the whole family will spend winters in St. George, expanding the Parasite Ranch to three locations.  Depending on where we are (Grover, American Fork, or Little Valley), you are invited to visit.  Drop me a note and I will get you a reservation.

Better than the Emmy's:  I Get My Own Cookie!

As you may know, every Labor Day Weekend the "Grover Boyz" have their annual picnic at Wildcat Guard Station.  What you might not know is this year I was the featured celebrity, and I was honored with something more special than an Emmy Award.  I got my own signature sugar cookie!

Honorary Picnic MC and Most Honored Guest

Every upscale event honoring celebrities must have a master of ceremonies.  This year's honorary MC was Aspen Dangerous' niece who I am coaching to get her to offer up high praise and plenty of platitudes for the picnic's most honored guest -- me, Rosie.  Aspen's father was a bit put off by events leading up to her role at the picnic.  He caught Dangerous and me teaching her to hug trees.  Having a "tree huger" in the family didn't sit well with her dad, but we took great pleasure in refining her environmental education a bit.

Event Producers

They may not look like successful Hollywood producers, but Utah Jack and Dangerous Doug have been putting on their annual Labor Day weekend event for four years now.  It isn't their charm and pleasing personalities that get family and friends to gather every year at Wildcat Guard Station (58 unfortunates this year not counting dogs), but the free food.  A change in menu may be necessary next year to keep attendance up.  All you can eat hot dogs and cheese burgers will bring them out only so long.  Utah Jack believes we should change the menu next year to cheese burgers and hot dogs for a change of pace.  What do you think? 

 Unexpected Celebrities

Like most celebrity events, the "Grover Goyz'" picnic usually attracts some visiting superstars.  While there wasn't a red carpet, we did have the pine-cone walkway.  A lucky photographer captured this picture of two minor celebrities a bit beyond their prime showing off the latest High Plateau fashions.  I think the one on the left might be a tall Danny Devito, but I am not sure about the other guy.  Maybe it's Tom Cruze?  He has that crazed Scientology look in his eyes, but who knows for sure with all the famous people milling about.  Maybe you can identify them for me?

"Grover Boyz'" Band

No High Plateau event is complete without music.  For want of a better name, I am calling this impromptu group of budding musicians the official "Grover Boyz'" Band.  Some of them can actually play, but not the guy who you might recognize as Fremont Bob on the fiddle, or in his case, the "squawk box."  If you look closely, you will notice he is standing a bit apart from the others in the ensemble.  The other musicians insist on an appropriate distance so they can stay on key. 

Celebrity Cookie Designer

Without our celebrity designer, Rebecca, the picnic honoring me would have been a bust.  From what I understand, she searched long and hard to find a sheep dog cookie cutter, and tried many sugar combinations to match my beautiful red coat.  I think she got it just right minus the dog hair that usually floats around me wherever I go.  Maybe it's time for a visit to the groomer.  Love to hear from you!

Yellowstone National Park

Most everyone I know but me has visited Yellowstone National Park.  I hear lots of talk about places like Old Faithful and the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone and other attractions located next to the highway, but fewer people ever make the 18 mile round trip hike or ride to Union Falls.  Supposedly, Union Falls has more vertical drop than the more frequently visited Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone Falls.  Based on Dangerous' smile, the 18 mile ride to Union Falls was worth the effort.  Since Yellowstone is a national park, I will never get to see the back country because dogs aren't allowed.  I might have to write the Park Superintendent about the Park's policy as Dangerous did complaining about how he was treated at the Beckler Meadows Ranger Station.

Union Falls

Every August Walking Horse Bill and his friends make a trip to Yellowstone National Park to ride.  Dangerous is usually invited because he has two extra horses and space to haul them in his trailer.  You can rest assured that it isn't his pleasing personality or charm that gets him invited every year.  After his most recent altercation with Park Service rangers, I think Bill will think twice before extending him another invitation.  With Dangerous' record, another incident might land him in jail where Trea and I plan to leave him.

Bill, Janet, John, Rich, And Dennis

This year's group included Dangerous and five other riders.  Since I had to stay home, Janet was the only female among the group of six.  According to Dangerous, she never complains as Walking Horse Bill leads them through the lodge pole desert that makes up the vast acreage of Yellowstone National Park.

The Natural Order of Things

Like the natural world, horse riding usually has an order as well.  Bill is out front on Balthazar barely visible in the picture, and Dangerous who took the picture is on Gennie bringing up the rear.  Based on the experience of the rider and the natural affinity of the horses, the riding order is usually set.  Balthazar always has to lead and the three mares prefer to travel together.  Fortunately for Dangerous, Gennie leads, walks in the middle, or rides drag.  If I had been allowed to go along, I would have eaten a lot of dust following Gennie while Dangerous rode drag.  Between the river crossings and long stretches of lodge pole pines, the group stopped periodically at spots like Cave Falls to sight-see, rest, and snack.

Cave Falls

You're probably wondering how anyone could spoil such a beautiful, idyllic outing, but you don't know Dangerous and his luck.  He has a real nose for trouble and an ability to alienate people without even trying.  That's why he prefers the company of animals, and his best friend is a sheep dog.  As I have seen happen before, he got himself and his horses in trouble when the group visited Beckler Meadows Ranger Station.  An excerpt from the letter he wrote to the Superintendent of Yellowstone provides a brief summary of the incident.

"Our party of six riders had started out together to visit Beckler Meadows.  At the Beckler River Ford, we had difficulty getting one of the horses to cross, so I decided to return to the ranger station with the horse and rider while the other four in our party continued on.  After reaching the ranger station, I tied the two horses to my trailer to wait for the others in our party to return.  Approximately two hours later, the four riders returned to the parking lot.  One of the returning horses immediately started calling to her two pasture mates tied to my trailer.  She continued to call to the other horses when I tied her to the trailer to unsaddle and load to leave.  While unsaddling the mare, one of the rangers approached me and told me that I had to quiet the horse or load her in the trailer.  I am not sure what your experience is with horses, but quieting a horse that is calling to her friends is not easy, and I was already in the process of loading the horses to leave.  Shortly after the first ranger approached me, a second one came to the trailer while I was loading the horses.  After the horses were loaded, he lectured me about 'failure to control' my horses.  While tied to the trailer in the dirt parking lot, the horses had pawed the ground.  While he didn't give me a citation, he told me that he could, and that if I had been in the back country he would have cited me for 'failure to control' my horses"

I won't bore you with the complete letter, but if you know Dangerous, you can guess the content.  Fortunately in this case, he kept his mouth shut, and Trea and I didn't have to make a trip to Ashton, Idaho to bail him out of jail.  I know it's hard to believe, but shortly after sending his letter, Dangerous got a response back from the Superintendent of Yellowstone.  I know it's even harder to believe, but he received an apology.  Since I suspect you would doubt my veracity, I have included the complete letter below.

Well, with all the riding and confrontation, a rider can wear himself out.  As I well know, when you go on one of these trips, you have to take every opportunity to catch a little shut eye not matter who is watching or what you're wearing.  I guess that's the case with me while trying to report this recent adventure.  I have worn myself and probably you out trying to relate second had what went on in Yellowstone, so I will stop here and take a nap myself.

A Much Deserved Rest

Beautiful Brown Eyed Girl!

Dangerous has always had a weakness for long legged girls with dark wavy hair and beautiful brown eyes, and I guess that is a good description of Gennie.  Her registered name is Oldies Secret Agenda or as we call her "Gen-Gen."

I was lying in my usual place when Dangerous found her online.  I noticed immediately a change in his behavior and knew at once he was looking at something inappropriate for a man his age.  After two trips to Dubois, Wyoming, once to meet Gen and another to bring her home, I am recommending that Trea seriously restrict his computer privileges.  That's all we need around here is another Walking Horse, and a young three year old filly to boot.  What's wrong with this old man?

 Gennie and Dangerous on Boulder Mountain

The Box Hanging Three Ranch is located in Dubois, Wyoming on the Wind River.  It is 1,200 acres of pastures and hay fields all devoted to raising some of the best mountain bred Walking Horses you will ever see.  I didn't get to make the trip, but I have listened to Dangerous discuss in glowing terms the ranch and its 80 year old owner Sylvia.  Walking Horse Bill bought a horse from Sylvia and her husband almost 20 years ago, and I suspect that's where Dangerous go the idea.  Sylvia runs a no nonsense operation with her husband and training staff.  The horses are all excellent quality and receive at least one year of professional training before they are sold.

Box Hanging Three Ranch

Gen-Gen looks a bit small standing next to her trainer Eric, but you need to know Eric is 6' 6" tall.  Gen is a 15-3 bay filly.  As a young three year old, you can expect her to grow another two to three inches in height.  If she reaches maturity at 16-1 (65 inches at the withers), I'm not sure how Dangerous will climb aboard.  When he rides Gennie now, I watch him struggle to get on.  He always has to get her to stand quietly on his downhill side or in a low depression so he can reach the stirrup and throw his arthritic leg over the cantle.  Maybe he will have to attach a rope ladder to his saddle, or heaven forbid use a three step mounting block.

Dangerous, Sylvia, Gennie, and Eric

While her size is impressive, what really sets Gen apart is her great disposition.  According to Dangerous, she is the sweetest horse he has ever owned.  Give me a little time, and I will change her  good nature.  Unfortunately, I may never get the chance because Gen's one obvious flaw is that she hates dogs.  She has already tried to kill me, so from now on I plan on giving her a wide berth.

Next Generation

While picking Gen up, Dangerous, Utah Jack, and Dennis got to see the next generation of Walking Horses born at the Box Hanging Three Ranch.  Two foals were born shortly before they stopped to collect Gen for her long ride back to Utah.  I am surprised Dangerous didn't bring the two foals and their mothers with him.  Not enough room in the horse trailer I suspect.  As you probably can tell, he is a real sucker for anything with four legs.  Too bad he doesn't share the same feelings toward two legged critters.

 

Sweet Baby

As he tells it, Gennie is his last horse.  According to my calculations, she will reach maturity about the time he enters the old folk's home.  She will be 13 when Dangerous turns 76 if he lives that long, and Gen will still have many good years left when he turns 80.  Anyone interested in committing to giving Gen a good home in the not too distant future?  Between now and then, I am sure Gen will wear out a lot of horse shoes riding the High Plateau.