Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Grover Gets Indoor Plumbing

You've heard the old saying that "love can move mountains."  Well, I am here to tell you that love can also build an indoor bathroom.  For years, Grover has had an outhouse, but no more.  After almost 27 years, the well beaten path to the privy will only be trod in winter or during an emergency.
Rosie Surveys the New Sewer Line
As the "Grover Boyz" age, they have discussed putting in a septic system to avoid the treacherous walk to the outhouse.  Negotiating the rocky path in the dark or winter has never been easy, and some visitors are really fearful of making the trip in the dark.  Mountain lions, bears, or other wild critters are imagined behind every pinion or juniper lining the path waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting visitor with a full bladder or bowel.  Dangerous wanted to do something about the hazardous trek a year ago, but Utah Jack who you know is quite frugal (CHEAP!!) wasn't interested.  Well, all that changed when someone more important than Dangerous in Utah's life decided she wanted an indoor facility.
Septic Tank and Future Parking Area
To satisfy his pressing demand, Utah immediately came up with an inexpensive (CHEAP!!) solution.  He proposed hand digging a septic system with a 55 gallon, perforated drum for the tank.  Understanding the pressure Utah was under, Dangerous was willing to go along with an indoor bathroom, but not one that violated county health codes and rules.  The Grover architectural committee met and finally agreed to have the sewer line, septic tank, and drain fields professionally installed according to code.  However, the water supply system and actual bathroom were left to Utah's creative (CHEAP!!) design.
Water Supply System and Attached Bathroom
Because I'm a sheep dog, I don't know much about toilets and indoor plumbing, but I do know that water is needed to make them work.  I just use the great outdoors when nature calls, and Dangerous goes around and picks up after me from time to time before someone steps in it.  Even as ignorant as I am about plumbing, I have to admit that Utah Jack's solution to supply water to the new indoor bathroom is quite ingenious.  Choosing the least expensive alternative he could devise (CHEAP!!), Utah Jack built a scaffold of sorts from stuff he had on hand and placed two 55 gallon, plastic barrels on top.  Gravity flow from the barrels fills the toilet and supplies running water for the first time in 27 years to the kitchen.  You have to remember that the system only works in warm weather and a shower anytime of year will be a little bit nippy.  Also, the barrels only hold 110 gallons and have to be refilled from the well when empty.  While 110 gallons sounds like a lot of water, it isn't if you shower and flush the toilet too frequently.  I am watching with interest what happens when someone finds them self short of water after using the new facilities.  Not being able to flush might be worse than running out of toilet paper, and knowing Utah Jack, everyone will be limited to four squares of paper per visit.

Utah Works on the New Addition
I always watch with interest when Utah and Dangerous work on these construction projects together.  Utah can build just about anything and Dangerous doesn't really care as long as the finished project keeps the rain and snow out.  Utah always consults Dangerous about the design, but not seriously.  Asking is his diplomatic attempt to make Dangerous think he actually has some input.  I think Dangerous knows that Utah is only humoring him, but I really don't think he cares.

New Entrance
It might look like a doggy door, but actually, this is the entrance to the new bathroom  As you can see, Utah Jack barely fits, and I really think his tummy would rub if he tried to slide through sideways.  While the project won't be finished until spring, you ought to stop by when it's done.  If the facilities are working, I am sure Dangerous will make sure the barrels are full, and Utah will issue you four squares of toilet paper and limit you to one flush.  Hope to see you!



Anonymous said...

Creeping civilization... where will it all end? However, I totally understand the motivation behind Utah's doing this. Truth be told, I'd be hard pressed to find a way not to bow to the same pressure.

beedub said...

Will the old outhouse become a for-profit catch-and-release roadside fishing attraction? It might help pay for the new facilities? I'll paint the billboard.

- little dark cloud II, jr.