Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What did he say?

At Rest

What did he say? I believe he said that if I did it again he would shoot me. Take a look at that innocent face. I can't believe that anyone would threaten to kill me, but Dangerous did last week, and I believe he meant it! Well, I am lucky to still be here to tell you what I did. You will have to decide if I deserved the death threats.

Fremont Bob and Nature Dan

We spent all last week riding, hiking, eating, and drinking with Dangerous' buddy Nature Dan. Dan is a liberal, tree hugging pacifist without a mean bone in his body, so why did Dangerous lose his cool and threaten to kill me during his visit. Well, it had little to do with Dan and a lot to do with my herding instincts. From the picture, everyone looks calm and collected. "Hobby" and Little Guy are quietly plodding along while Fremont Bob and Nature Dan enjoy the High Plateau scenery. Too bad you couldn't have taken in the scene a few minutes earlier. While trying to give Dangerous an assist, I was jumping four feet high in the air trying to bite Dangerous' flighty mare Dottie at the base of her tail. I believe Dangerous' mood was adversely affected while he tried to board his spinning, bouncing horse. As you might know, a rider is most vulnerable while mounting up. Without a real firm seat and good rein control, a rider can easily and instantly get unloaded. If Dangerous had taken the time to explain that to me, I might have known better, but threatening to shoot me. I am not sure I deserved that.


Looking for Naked Escalante River Nymphs

Dangerous' recent attitude toward me night be explained because he thinks I may have lost my touch. While hiking along the Escalante River, Dan, Dangerous, and Utah experienced one of those outdoor moments that only happen a few times in an old man's life -- spotting naked women. Female voices alerted us to a group ahead happily splashing in the river. Little did we know that the four or eight, depending on how you count, were enjoying a lovely fall afternoon completely naked. My three hiking buddies are still debating the correct number. In the past, most women make a big fuss over me, but not today. For some reason, the four completely ignored me requiring Dangerous and his two buddies to move on without stopping for a chat. I am not sure it was the chat they were interested in.


A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Well, whatever the conflict between Dangerous and me, I have to tell you fall is a beautiful time of year on the High Plateau. While the autumn leaves are just getting a good start, the lack of fall colors didn't distract much from the incredible views and scenery. So, if you have time, load up and drive scenic Highway 12. If you have time, stop in Grover for a visit. We will be there because it's time for our annual Walking Horse ride with Bill and friends.

The Doctor is In

Drop in visitors sometimes wonder how to tell if we are home. Well, the answer to that one is pretty easy. If the gate is open, we are there. If both gates are open, then Dottie and Little Guy are with us. Another way to tell is to check for the sign on the porch. Like all upscale professional establishments we have a sign that announces our presence and availability. Thanks to Mississippi Max, all you have to do to make sure Dangerous or Utah is around is to look for the sign.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am now taking selected and pre-approved advertising at a reasonable cost. Again, thanks to Mississippi Max I received another prepaid advertisement that met with my approval. Max is trying to help Fremont Bob out by encouraging more sales at the Happy Chicken Egg Ranch. One of Fremont's specialties is homemade goat cheese. Makes your mouth water and stomach churn just thinking about such a tasty treat. Well, stop by the Bobarosa and try a slice. Get your orders in early for Christmas. Love to hear from you!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Biking the Wild Kingdom

Two Wheels Turning

First, I need to tell you that I don't get to go biking with Dangerous and his buddies. I know it is hard to believe, but I can't keep up with the old guys on their two wheelers, so I have to give you a second hand account based on what Dangerous tells me. After our last horse riding adventure, I may be banned from that activity too, but that's another story.

Jordan River Blue Heron

The Jordan River Parkway surprisingly provides lots of wildlife viewing opportunities. Since the bike path parallels the Jordan River, Dangerous tells me that he regularly sees herons, geese, ducks, and pelicans. If you can believe him, the other day he supposedly saw a beautiful black mink cross the trail. The Jordan River provides excellent habitat for these small, aggressive predators. In addition to the many birds, there are plenty catfish and carp along with muskrats and squirrels for them to hunt.

Canada Geese

Small flocks of Canada Geese inhabit the many ponds found along the parkway. According to Dangerous, he has watched this mother goose raise her brood to maturity. With a little luck, maybe they will be there next year. We can only hope!

Exotic Birds

Occasionally, Dangerous meets some real interesting characters while riding his bike. As you know, he never passes up an opportunity to talk with the many strange characters we meet on the trail, and this gentleman who was out walking his birds meets all his criteria for unusual. While he didn't get the guys life story, he couldn't pass up the chance to take a picture of the birds crawling all over him. The gentleman agreed to have his picture taken, but required a few seconds to pose his two birds. He wanted the green one's good side to be captured in the photo since the bird is missing its left eye.


Prepared for Action

You might think that Dangerous' outfit is a bit over the top, but I can attest to his need for helmet and gloves. Unlike his fishing outfit, Dangerous isn't interested in projecting style, but protecting himself from his recently acquired grandchildren. Hannah and Blake came into his life when his son Ben married a wonderful woman with two children. Hannah and Blake have added another element of danger to Dangerous' life. Ben warned him that riding with these two can be hazardous to an old man's well being. Dangerous didn't believe Ben until Hannah plowed her bike into Dangerous while he was standing next to the trail enjoying the view. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but I wonder if Dangerous reacted to this crash like he does to the ones I cause. I doubt he called Hannah some of the names he saves for me.

I have decided to add a new feature to my blog -- paid advertisements. Anyone interested in advertising with me can leave a comment with an e-mail address or phone number where I can reach you. Utah Jack was a bit hurt about the attention his Jack-in-the-box received in my last blog and at the Grover Boys picnic. He really believes he has developed a revolutionary product for the camping world, so he purchased an advertisement on my blog. Let me know if you are interested in taking advantage of this new opportunity!

Product Advertisement

Redneck Pop-Up-Camper
(Not Endorsed by Rosie)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

2010 Labor Day Picnic

Let me tell you!

Relax and lean back in your chair. It's going to take me a few minutes to tell you all about the "Grover Boyz" Labor Day picnic. Observing from the ground floor, I may have missed a few things, but I believe my dog's eye view captured most of the interesting happenings during the three day event. Since I don't read and write, I have to rely strictly on memory, and it wasn't easy keeping track of 68 people and 14 dogs. As you can imagine, Dangerous, at his age, wasn't much help recalling what went on. While some may disagree, I believe the Labor Day picnic is a lot more fun and entertaining than the Wayne County Fair or Torrey's July 4th parade, but I might be wrong. You judge for yourselves.

The Camp

I know it's hard to believe, but people travel long distances to attend this premier social event. I know at least three guests who drove from Denver to eat hot dogs and hamburgers with the "Grover Boyz." By Saturday morning the flat across from Wildcat Guard Station was crawling with adults, kids, and dogs. With 31 family member, 16 of them children, roaming the campground a lot of time was spent keeping the kids from getting run over or stepping in fresh dog poop.

Four of Many

As you might guess, it was impossible to get a milling pack of 14 dogs together for a group photo. Getting their attention was easy as you can see, but there was so much food around the pack just ran from one victim to another. Since I am a bit brighter than your average dog, I focused my attention on the serving tables. I am the one in the background eagerly waiting for a tidbit to spill. The other dogs weren't that smart. They believed that Utah Jack might share a treat with them from his plate. Fat chance of that ever happening!

Feeding the Guests

At 4:00 PM sharp, the hamburgers and hot dogs were on the grill and the fresh corn was boiling in the pot. It wasn't long before the hungry guests started showing up starved for good conversation and marginal food. It didn't take long for the crowd to fill up on both.

I wonder who they are talking about

The crowd included the usual mix of husbands and wives, cowboys, foundry men, lawyers, locals, comers, friends, friends of friends, relatives, and others. A more eclectic group of eccentrics and odd balls is difficult to find anywhere else but on the High Plateau during Labor Day Weekend. Sitting next to Dangerous is a most interesting character -- a reformed carnivore. You all know him as Fremont Bob, but we had to change his name to Vegetable Bob after his recent conversion. Come on Fremont! Talk about sacra religious -- tofu hot dogs at the "Grover Boyz" picnic!

Children Activities

I guess you wonder what 16 kids do while their parents visit and eat. Well, the picture above gives you a general idea about how much supervision and oversight they actually got. That's probably why most of the kids and dogs didn't want to go home after three days of climbing on rocks and hanging out in the woods. One more day probably would have seen both kids and dogs running permanently feral on the High Plateau.

Uninvited Visitor

For the most part, everyone is invited to the picnic. We are used to the occasional odd ball, but every once in awhile a real strange character wanders into camp. There is no mistaking that Sasquatch actually inhabits the High Plateau. It was bad enough competing with all the other dogs for table scraps, but try scrambling around on the ground with this character for a half eaten hamburger or hot dog. I can tell you first hand that he ate every dropped morsel and scrap that should have gone to me and the other dogs. Besides, he scared hell out of the kids! Parents were up all night comforting their frightened children.

Sleeping Accommodations

The thirty-one people who camped for three nights slept in all sorts of accommodations. Some brought their trailers while others pitched tents. As you know, Dangerous and I share his sheep camp. Probably the strangest abode found on the High Plateau this Labor Day weekend was what we all called the "Jack-in-the-box." Poor Kay thought her extremely cheap boyfriend, Utah Jack, was going to provide a luxury camper or at least comfortable tent for her to sleep in. But, true to form Utah Jack built her a wafer board box with a hay tarp roof for under $25. It was the under $25 that he was most proud of.

Tequila Nights

After a sleepless night listening to the hay tarp rattle in the wind, Kay found a solution. Spend the evening around the campfire drinking margaritas and you avoid a sleepless night in the "Jack-in-the-box." The only problem is rousing yourself in the morning. Wake up Kay or you will miss breakfast? Can I have your bacon, sausage, and ham?

Helping the Elderly

As you might have noticed, the "Grover Boyz" are getting on in years. At their stage of life, getting in and out of their pickup trucks isn't easy for aging seniors. Since they had to haul the barbecue and other equipment from Grover for the picnic, sometimes they needed help unloading their trucks. Thankfully Daniel was available to unload both the barbecue and Dangerous from the back of his truck. Both were safely deposited on the ground without serious injury or damage. I guess you know what that means -- another Labor Day picnic next year.

Get your calendars out and pencil in the "Grover Boyz" picnic for 2011. After reading about the great fun we had, you won't want to miss the next one. As a special treat, Dangerous and Utah have decided to celebrate the centennial a few years early. They thought the centennial would be an incredible event and didn't want to miss it. Thanks again to all those who attended and helped out! Love to hear from you, especially suggestions for the centennial!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Fishing Idaho: Henry's Fork

Great Outfit!

You never know what Dangerous will dream up next. Last winter it was cross country skiing. This summer it is fly fishing and bike riding. We will cover bike riding in another post.

He tells me that fishing is something to do when you have time on your hands. Well, I can tell you for sure that since he finally retired this year he has too much time on his hands. I'm not sure what he will dream up next, but I hope it isn't sky diving. Even I have my limits about where I will follow him.

I really think he took up fly fishing because he likes the outfits. He thinks the waders flatter his figure. What do you think?

Family Activity

He told Trea that fly fishing was something that they could do together. How many husbands have used that one on their wives? The way it really works is she stays at the sheep camp wherever he parks it, tending Max and I while he fishes. I doubt Trea believes that this latest endeavor is really a family activity, but she doesn't mind the beautiful scenery. The Tetons provide an excellent backdrop while reading a good book.


Beautiful Places

Hiking and riding takes us to a lot of beautiful places, but you can't ride, hike or bike a big river. Fortunately for Dangerous, Trea's brother lives in the heart of fly fishing country and willingly spent time teaching Dangerous fly fishing fundamentals.

Adventure

For a guy more familiar with saddles, backpacks, and pickup trucks, I was surprised how well Dangerous took to a whole new set of equipment. The boat was a bit intimidating at first especially when Phil explained to him that he had to stand in the front fishing while Phil rowed. Standing on a wooden platform supported by a an aluminum frame was a bit intimating for a wobbly old man like Dangerous. I was with him recently when he fell flat on his back while trying to wade along the Poesy Lake shore line. The loud splash scared away the fish, and the language that followed as his waders filled with cold lake water drove the other campers, picnickers, and fishermen from the area.

Occasional Reward

For the uninitiated, fly fishing sounds pretty easy, but I can tell you from watching and listening to Dangerous that it is really quite demanding. Maybe I am wrong, and he is just a bit slow. However, I do know that rigging his fly rod, choosing a fly, and untangling the constant mess seemed to tire him out. After a day on the river trying to master nymph casting, he had to rest a full day afterward, and nymphs are only one of the many different fly fishing strategies. I am not sure Dangerous has enough time left to master dry fly and wet fly fishing. Fortunately, Phil told him that 70% of fly fishing involves nymph casting. Check back in a few years and I will let you know if we have made any progress. With expert instruction and great patience from his brother-in-law, Dangerous did catch a few fish. Except for the white fish that he lost because he forgot his net, all the trout were small rainbows. But from the smile on his face, at least I think it's a smile, I believe he has started another hobby.

Catch and Release

Phil teaches English at BYU Idaho, but I am convinced that his true profession is fly fishing guide. Fortunately for Dangerous, Phil is use to teaching freshman university students as well as beginning anglers. In addition to instructing writing and literature, his teaching load includes a fly fishing class. He needed all his pedagogical skills and patience to spend the day instructing Dangerous while they floated and fished the Henry's Fork of the Snake River. Stay tuned for my report on the "Grover Boyz" picnic. If you didn't make it, I am sure you will enjoy my upcoming report. Love to hear from you!